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  • Writer's pictureK Smith

Are you truly taking responsibility or are you rebelling?

We are brought into the world as babies, as clean slates. We learn to become dependent on our parents immediately. For some of us, our upbringing is better than others, some people are brought into the world and don’t have the greatest parental upbringings or experiences, but we all learn some kind of pattern of responsibility, a little or a lot of how to manage it.

Throughout life there are very common relationship dynamics that some people find themselves in. Life happens, we will experience some wonderful things hopefully, but also some nasty things, some nasty people, we might get some outcomes or have some experiences that just aren’t good.

But as we grow up, we all have options. One, we can either learn the lessons that we need to learn so that we can grow and build the rest of our life upon the foundations of what has happened, or two, we can pick these experiences up, kind of like ten-ton weights and carry them around with us for the rest of our lives as if it was some sort of burden we must hold on to.

Many people end up playing the martyr, and for those people who take option number two, they develop this victim mindset like they are just victims of circumstance. We may have been traumatized by our past, by the people and the experiences that we’ve had, and some people who go through life playing this victim game, always defining themselves as a victim.

In order for there to be a victim, there must be a bad guy, a bad person, which means that there is always a perpetrator. This is often the drama that people go through consistently. They will see themselves as a victim and as long as they are a victim, there is always a bad guy to focus on. For them, there is always going to be an enemy, and as long as there is an enemy and as long as they’re the victim, they are forever going to be waiting for the hero to come along and save them. This is called the Drama Triangle.

There are many ways that people chose to live each day, but ultimately to move forward in a positive direction, it's about responsibility. Many of us are in rebellion because what responsibility actually looks like is us learning the lessons that we need to learn, Not blaming others for our lives and the circumstances we are in, but taking the time to understand our behaviours and not making excuses for the unhappiness or discontent we might feel in our lives.

We can either be the victims or we can be the victors - this is the choice that we have. Will we allow ourselves to be crushed by life while carrying the burdens of our past? Or are we willing to go out there and crush life (in the very best way!) It truly is just a choice. We no longer have to resist or rebel against taking ownership for our lives, for our issues, for our problems and concerns, our goals, aspirations and dreams. We can take responsibility, focus, work hard and and really make something good happen. That is your choice, each and every day.

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